Jessica Performs…Near Romo’s Hometown
Jessica Simpson decided to introduce her new country-singing career recently in Kenosha, WI, at Country Thunder. It was reported that half of the crowd cheered, while the other half booed.
Juice: Tony Romo was raised in Burlington, WI, about 20 minutes away from this massive Country Music Celebration. So, we were a little surprised to hear about all the booing. Our staff did happen to find a few people that were impressed with Jessica’s performance, most notably “Earl”, pictured below. Earl thought she was great, then asked us if we had any “spare change”.
Topics: NFL Celebrities |
Loading …T.O. is NOT a Villain
Sam Alipour, reporter for ESPN, went to the ESPY’s like the rest of the ESPN staff. Following the show, Sam decided to hit up an ESPY party to get his crunk on. Early Friday, Sam got nailed by a car.
This is where the story gets sweet. In the words of Sam:
…So, this is what getting hit by a car feels like.
When I came to, I was on the sidewalk, my shoulder hurting like crazy, shards of glass in my forearm and blood dripping from my fingers, while limo drivers and other witnesses screamed this way and that. The paramedics told me I was lucky to be alive (”Last time I saw a windshield like that,” said one, “guy lost both his legs”), and all I could think was, “Damn! I just bought this Banana Republic tie-and-shirt ensemble!”
That, and “Holy crap, that’s T.O.!”
Terrell Owens was standing over me. I’m told he was the first do-gooder on the scene of the accident. That he helped me to my feet and off the street to safe ground. That he didn’t leave my side. It seems the mercurial Dallas Cowboys receiver is my hero. But my hero looks scared, and this scares me.
“Wow, you all right, man?” Owens kept asking me, but in a manner that would suggest there is no possible way that I, in fact, could be all right. “Don’t move. Just sit there. Breathe. Don’t move. [Source: Awful Announcing]
Juice: This shouldn’t be a surprise to those who know ‘T’. He’d give the shirt off of his back for anyone in need. He’d give his Asian Porn collection to a lonely friend in need.
The real T.O. is not a villain…..[sigh]…… he’s a hero. [play song: ’You raise me up’, By Josh Groban]
Topics: NFL Charities, NFL Gossip |
Morning Wood with Denise “Bra Buster” Milani
Monday mornings are sometimes called Mammary Mondays… Segway to this ‘juggly’ beast.
Known to many as “the new queen of eroticism,” Denise Milani is quickly becoming one of the world’s most sought-after glamour models.
We especially like this pic because her wrap-around top is like a dam holding back a tsunami. Any minute now, that bad boy is going to erupt- right- into- your- grill.
More pics of her cans, click here.
Anyway, here are the top stories on the Juice radar today. Did we forget one? Send Tips to our hotline.
HEADLINES
• ‘Skins, DE Taylor agree to terms | Daniels hurt
• Long-term deal: Rams lock up No. 2 overall pick
• Favre puts rift aside, shows at Packer function
• Eagles sign rookie WR Jackson to 4-year deal
• Chargers’ first-round pick Cason still unsigned
• ‘Skins ink 2nd-round WR Thomas to 4-year deal
• Sources: Pack say Vikes tampered with Favre
• Report: NFL hires experts to spot gang signals
• Jags’ Porter to miss preseason after surgery
• Browns’ Jurevicius likely to miss start of ‘08 run
[Sponsored by Fox Sports]
Topics: Top Stories |
Taylor Traded, Parcells Still Has Mangina
You probably already heard this, but…..
Jason Taylor is officially a Washington Redskin. The Dolphins will get a 2009 and 2010 draft pick from the Redskins to complete the deal.
Juice: This deal was a no-brainer for the Big Tuna. Jason isn’t “Parcells material” and rebuilding the Dolphins will ultimately require many draft picks between now and 2010.
Plus, Parcells appears to have a “man-gina”, aka mussy, fruit basket, or shenis. And Jason doesn’t like that, he emailed us a few hours ago. Weird.
Topics: 2008 NFL Free Agency |
Woodson The Winemaker, Pacman- Not So Much
Charles Woodson has created him own private labeled wine, aptly entitled “Twenty-Four”.
The Woodson special sauce was on display Friday evening at the Chop House in Ann Arbor, along with an official release and tasting. A portion of the reservation cost went to benefit Mott Children’s Hospital.
After he did an interview about his passion for wine recently, and as news of Friday’s event spread, the NFL contacted his representatives this week to remind him of the league’s alcohol policy. To dodge the bullet of “endorsing alcohol, which is against NFL baller rules”, Woodson’s cellar master, Rick Ruiz, spoke for him. [Full Story]
OUR REVIEW OF TWENTY-FOUR
As you know, NFL Juice frequents Napa and Sonoma Valley, exploring new wines as often as possible, in the offseason. We can tell you that Charles’ wine is dramatic and splendid. Here’s our official review of “Twenty-Four”:
First things first. Woodson went with French Oak barrels, which one would expect to lighten the wine. This didn’t happen, perhaps the tannins or the dark berries overrode this. Needlesstosay, we were impressed.
The most noteable thing about the wine was the velvety texture and dry, crushed stone flavor. The tannins were unusually intense and we thought the wine to be delightfully bold, despite the winemakers description. We scored this wine a whopping 96, not bad for the Freshman winery.
Our next review will be Pacman’s Malt Liquor, “Capped”, to be released in the fall of 2009.
Topics: NFL Celebrities, NFL Rules |
Player Sighting: Reggie and Matt (BFF’s), Not Nick
Kim Kardashian, Reggie Bush, Kim’s butt, and others, all attended Matt Leinart’s charity bowling night at Lucky Strike recently in Hollywood. They had so much fun, according to Kim’s website.
Said Kim on her website: ”Matt and Reggie are best friends. And of course I had to support Matt—he is the one who first introduced Reggie and me!” [Busted Coverage]
Juice: What? Reggie and Matt are best friends? Lachey’s gonna have somebody’s ass over this comment. Remember the good old days, when a couple of guys could just ‘be guys’ together and nobody made fun?
Topics: Player Sighting |
Non-NFL: My Anaconda Don’t Want None…
If you can watch this entire video and not flinch, you are fierce. This anaconda don’t want none unless you buns hun, you can do sidebends and sit-ups, but please don’t lose that butt……..
Take the flinch test now!
Topics: Non-NFL |
Non-NFL: Boobs With Fricking Laaaaasers
It’s Sunday, and normally that would mean we’d be stretching out and getting the football room ready for the Red Zone Channel. (Sitting in recliner with laptop watching football)
But, since we’re still a week away from training camp, we need to fill our Sundays with entertaining videos, like this one which we’ve named “Boobs With Fricking Laaaaaasers”. Check it.
Topics: Non-NFL |
New Shirt Alert….’All Day’
Adrian “AD” Peterson, nicknamed for wrecking defenses “All Day” on the field, was drafted by the Vikings with the 7th pick in the first round of last season’s draft. He did not disappoint.
Following his stellar first pro season, Peterson was a near-unanimous choice as the NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year. In the 2008 NFL Pro Bowl, Peterson rushed for 129 yards and two touchdowns, achieving the second highest rushing total in Pro Bowl history.
Topics: Juice Shirts |
Todays Top Stories With Laura Vandervoort
Meet Canadian born Laura Vandervoort, since 1984.
She is pleased to announce the Top Stories this Saturday. She’s also pleased to be pull on her bikini bottom….just for you, big guy. Yeah you.
In 2007, she joined the seventh season cast of Smallville as Kara Zor-El aka Kara Kent aka Supergirl, Clark Kent’s Kryptonian cousin, and also appeared in the film The Lookout.
She appeared on the cover of the October 2007 issue of Stuff Magazine, which was the final issue of the U.S. edition.
Her single greatest accomplishment is appearing on the cover of NFL Juice today. Who’s the big winner? Juice is the big winner. Yeahhhhhh. [like Mikey in Swingers]
HEADLINES
• Packer prez backs coach, GM in Favre dealings
• ‘Skins ink 2nd-round WR Thomas to 4-year deal
• Sources: Pack say Vikes tampered with Favre
• Report: NFL hires experts to spot gang signals
• Jags’ Porter to miss preseason after surgery
• Browns’ Jurevicius likely to miss start of ‘08 run
• QB Flacco, Ravens agree to 5-year, $30M deal
• Cowboys lock up star safety for 6 years, $39M
• Bears, desperate for a RB, sign ex-Lion Jones
• Suggs, Ravens miss out on contract extension
Topics: NFL rumors, Top Stories |
Orton Not Selected For Gay Ads
When Browns quarterback, Brady Quinn, found out that his picture was being used for gay “M4M” ads, he was likely pissed. So pissed that he called his attorney to take action.
TMZ reported that Brady Quinn’s attorney filed a cease-and-desist demand with a gay-dating website that’s using a shirtless photo of the Browns quarterback in a promotional ad. [Full Story Here]
Juice: This is wrong. Clearly the gay community is discriminating against other NFL quarterbacks. Kyle Orton wasn’t “pretty” enough? Jeff Garcia wasn’t tall enough or masculine enough? If BeardedBears4Men.com was a site, which we think it’s not, Kyle would get love- manly love.
Oh No. Don’t Cha Know This Would Not Be Good?
We’d like to stop talking about Favre but the tips just keep flooding our inbox; like this one from our senior researcher/former Badger, J-DeBaker.
Oh, don’t cha know dis would be just terrible for dem Packer fans, yah. Brett in purple is like black toilet paper. Or, blue hot dogs. It doesn’t sit well.
Juice: The question that ultimately needs to be answered is, how soon after this deal would Johnny Madden be at Champs Sporting Goods purchasing the Vikings #4 jersey?
ANSWER ( In Maddens voice): Eh eh eh Boom! Witha Brutt Far jersey, eh eh eh, you can’t buy just one, ya gotta buy 3- an then ya got yer Brutt Far hat with yer Brutt Far socks….and yer ready for yer weekend…. with eh eh eh yer Brutt Far jerseys.
Topics: 2008 NFL Free Agency, Brett Favre |
Morning Wood With Irina Sheik
Meet Russian born Irina Sheik. She has appeared on the covers of many international magazines including Sports Illustrated. Wonder if our boy Jimmy T. over at SI knows her?
She is extremely sexy and we really want to hear her say: ”I must break you”, like the Russian in Rocky IV. It’s an old fantasy, we’ll explain later.
Below you’ll find what’s on tap this morning. See anything interesting that you’d like us to elaborate on, got a question for our experts drinking buddies? Send us an email or something, buy a shirt, it’s Friday.
TODAYS HEADLINES
If reinstated, Henry open to return to Bengals
Jurevicius to miss extended time, Browns GM says
Giants price seat licenses from $1,000 to $20,000
Veteran Gibbs assistant retires for health reasons
Agent: Flacco agrees to five-year deal with Ravens
Report: NFL hiring experts to look for gang signs
Jets sign fifth-round pick Ainge, free agent DeVan
Giants’ Super Bowl win tops list of ESPY winners
Topics: NFL rumors, morning boner |
Non-NFL: Natural WMD’s Gone Bad
They’re used for foreplay, child nurturing, and……WTF. This is ridiculous. We need to get to todays Headlines quickly before somebody gets tit-slapped. This lady just made that a word.
And yes, we have contacted the Gallagher for a career revival opportunity.
THAT-JUST-HAPPENED.
Topics: Non-NFL, WTF Video of the Day |