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Dear Juice, 

Why does ESPN force us to listen to Lou Holtz and his horrible lisp?  I know this is primarily an NFL blog, but please explain!  [Darren, Pittsburgh]

Juice:  Darren,  Lou Holtz was a great college football coach at Notre Dame.  In 1988, many considered him College Football Royalty.  Did you know that Holtz is the only coach in NCAA history to lead six different programs to bowl games and the only coach to guide four different programs to final top 20 rankings?

As you’ve stated in your email, Lou suffers from what we call a “lateral lisp”.  You may remember the cartoon character “Sylvester” who had a ficticious lisp.  Lou’s lisp, unfortunately is not fake.  It was inadvertently created by his Dentist.  We’ll explain…

Ya see Darren, his denture is too thick on the palate, causing a loss of “seal” and air is leaking out both sides-between his teeth.  Our Dental experts tell us that this problem is correctable in 15-30 seconds with an instrument known as the dremel.  

Thank-th for your partith-ipating today.  PS-Lou does NOT resemble…