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Still undecided on tonight’s game?   It seems everybody talking about tonight’s Monday Night Football game, even our friends over at Risky Pets.  Let’s take a poll…   [Pic: Risky Pets]

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Is it too early for the “motorboat”?  Salma Hayek’s jugs want to know.  Are they built for speed or comfort?  Think about it. 

 Are you ready for football tonight?  You better be, cause it’s set to be a pretty wide open game.  The Vikings should be able to run the ball against the weak Saints defense, and the Saints should be able to get into the end zone frequently–on sheer offensive creativity alone.  But…..this has been a strange week for football, as there were around 7 home losses?  Monday is the best day of the week.  Stay focused.  Love you.  

Here are a few links for your convenience…

Dan Fouts Wants to add Welker to that dick [Critical Fanatic]

Jim Zorn is real good at rope-a-dope [D of D]

Bears Spank Lions Recap [NFL Gridiron Gab]

Roy Williams wants to leave, but won’t admit it [MLIVE]

Lions could fire Marinelli…maybe [FREEP]

Raiders needs to prove Patriot tampering, or else… [NFL Network]

Rod Woodson walks with a big limp, so does team [Milwaukee Journal]

Strahan thinks Fassel wants Raiders coaching nightmare [USA Today]

Dave at Tailgating Ideas breaks down the presidential Ipod playlist [TI]

You won’t believe who beat Kimbo [Deadspin]

A bikini calendar you may enjoy…alot [On 205th]

A lesson in “sampling” in the music industry [Uncoached]

[Credit: DLISTED]

Philadelphia Eagles running back Brian Westbrook has fractured ribs, and his status for next Sunday’s game against the San Francisco 49ers in questionable.  The injury happened against the Redskins.  Ouch, and ouch to the fantasy owners of BW. 

Of all the bad coaches still left standing, we thought that the next one to go would be Marvelous Marvin Lewis.  His team is crime-infested, attitude-stained, and not winning games.  According to a report on the NFL Network, Marvin ain’t goin’ nowhere, yawl.  Here’s the report…

“Very quietly, Bengals management has informed head coach Marvin Lewis that he is welcome to coach in Cincinnati as long as wants, according to a high-level Bengals source. It is as strong an indication to date that ownership has absolutely no plans to fire its head coach, certainly not now. As it is, Lewis has two years remaining on his contract after this season. The Bengals are not in the business of writing any head coach a check through the 2010 season to sit on the sideline. So instead, Lewis will continue patrolling there, even as speculation has begun to swirl that he could be on the firing line.”

Juice:  We’re not buying it.  If the Bengals continue to blow goats, they’ll have to make a coaching change or else….Chad will start complaining, Chris Henry will turn to drugs and guns, Frostee Rucker will punch his spouse, Eric Steinbach will go boating, while hammered, and A.J. Nicholson will committ grand theft.  (Steinbach and Nicholson have been released, but Marv will likely bring them back) 

In light of Atlanta’s recent whaling of the Packers at Lambeau, we decided to hire Dawn Jaro-who is a huge Falcons fan.  She’s naughty in this picture, and  we suspect she may need to “go potty”.  

So what did you think of Sunday’s games?  Are the Dolphins for real?  Are the Giants the team to beat in the NFC?  How about the Redskins?  These questions and more can be answered below

Today’s Top Stories Are…

• Who’s 5-0? Titans strike late to remain unbeaten 
• Old-school Dolphins are too much for Chargers
• Cowboys survive scare from winless Bengals
• Rodgers plays, but Falcons still upset Packers
• Broncos get defensive to hold off Garcia, Bucs
• Bills’ Edwards has concussion  | Buffalo falls
• Moss provides firepower in Pats’ win over S.F.
• Colts rally from 17 points down to beat Texans 
• No Plax? No problem for Giants in blowout
• Goodell: I haven’t received grievance from Kiffin

Don’t look now but Chicago Bears’ RB, Matt Forte, is in the early running for Offensive Rookie of the Year.  He  rushed 15 times for 36 yards and a touchdown to go with four catches for 25 yards and another score against the Lions.

Plus, he hangs out with Malibu’s Most Wanted-apparently.  

For those of you who doubted the heart of the Miami Dolphins before the 2008 season began,  we would like to tell you that you were not alone.  Everyone, including us, had the Dolphins on a three year minimum building plan.  

But after spanking the Patriots last week, and beating up the Chargers this week, it’s almost safe to say that the Dolphins have “Reversed the Curse” way ahead of schedule.  Below are the 3 reasons why we believe the Dolphins have transformed from League Losers to Big Ballers.  The girls in the pictures are only here for support.  Say hello, be a gentleman.  Any use of the hands and you’ll tossed.  

1.  Team Confidence-  Ronnie Brown, Vernon Carey and Ikechuku Ndukwe performed an end zone dance this week which was basically their version of the Cupid Shuffle.  This dance signified for us an arrival for the Fins.  You don’t do dances like this unless you are winning, or “think” you can win.  The Fins posess both.   

2.  New Coach Tony Sparano-  Clearly outcoached Bill Belichick last week and continually has his players ready both physically and mentally.   The team lost Jason Taylor and few other key (or so we thought) defensive players this season.  It didn’t matter.  Coach Sparano’s no tolerance “fuhgettaboutit” attitude has renewed this teams toughness.  

3.  New Head Honcho-  ”Big Tuna” Bill Parcells came to town with one goal in mind.  To Win at all costs.  He’s old, he’s been around the block twice, and he doesn’t have a whole of time left.  

Every positive change in Miami can be traced back to the brute expectations of Bill Parcells, as well as the pressure he puts on his staff and coaches to perform.  He’s probably a dick to work for, but a dick nonetheless, that you do NOT want to disappoint.  

Each week at NFL Juice, we send our team of angry researchers on assignment.  This week’s task was to determine who lacks physical play on the defensive side of the ball. The wiener for Week 5 is the lovable Cheeseheads, don’t cha know?

Today’s Defense of the “Weak” is AJ “Rocky Road” Hawk, and Nick Barnett’s Green Bay Packers.  Sure, Cullen Jenkins and Al Harris were out of this game, but on Sunday against the Atlanta Falcons, the Green Bay Packers looked terrible on defense.  Multiple arm tackles, slow linebacker reactions, zero pass rush, all combined with a defensive core that made Roddy White look like a Pro-Bowler.  Is he? 

Congrats head coach McCarthy for your solid game preparation. For your efforts, you will receive a coupon for unlimited pastries from your preferred dinner hang-out, Dunkin’ Donuts.  Carb Keep up the good work!

Place NFL Bets By Clicking Banner Below–Check by all day for stories, comments, and a sneak peak of the Mike Ditka sex tape.

Bears DT Tommie “Boy” Harris is a committed Christian, according to the Chicago Tribune.  But ever since having his first child out of wedlock, he’s been in a fragile state of mind.

Aparently Tommie Boy had an argument with coach Lovie Smith stemming from Harris’ public displeasure with the Bears for releasing wide receiver Mark Bradley, his college teammate and close friend.

Harris said fathering a child without being married has affected him emotionally. His son was born prematurely Sept. 14, the morning of the Bears game against Carolina. After the delivery, he flew from Chicago to join his teammates in Charlotte for the noon kickoff. “You just don’t know how much having a child out of wedlock has weighed on me,” he said. “When your own child doesn’t live with you, when you have to go pick him up. I mean the whole thing has really affected my professional life.”

Former NFL Running Back and Nebraska star, Lawrence Phillips, likes to drive his car into people after football games.  This time, he got caught.

The nutty driver was sentenced Friday to 10 years in state prison for aiming a car at a group of boys and young men after an August 2005 pickup football game near the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, hitting three of them. 

The 33-year-old former Baldwin Park High School and University of Nebraska standout — who went on to play for the St. Louis Rams, Miami Dolphins and San Francisco 49ers,  tearfully apologized to one of the victims, who was in court to hear Phillips’ punishment meted out.

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